WOULD YOU PROPOSE TO YOUR FELLA?
RULES ARE MADE TO BE BROKEN!
So, you’ve fallen in love and are determined to get a ring on it, but your boyfriend is Mr Laid Back.
You might have been together for donkeys, or just know you know, but infuriatingly, no amount of hints are being acknowledged. Thankfully we are no longer in the 18th century when women were considered too emotional and irrational to be trusted to select a good husband, and the role of proverbially driving the love train was unanimously left to men. Now women don’t have to wait for Old Maid’s Day aka 29th Feb in a leap year (next one 2020 FYI), to take control of their future engagement, as girls everywhere are now taking control of their own destiny and nuptials.
If you had a vision of going the traditional route, where your beau got down on one knee in a restaurant full of strangers on Valentine’s Day or at the stroke of midnight on New Year’s Eve, you may very well be waiting until you’re fifty! So, depending on your patience level and belief in customs, assert yourself and pop the big Q with all the same frills you would expect from your fella! But don’t do it just because you’re bored waiting and think that being engaged is the next thing on your tick list. Your boyfriend will smell this desperation a mile off. Remember being a Mr is for life and not just for Christmas…
Ideally you need to know if marriage is even on his radar. Have you ever had “the conversation” about getting hitched? Does he flinch every time you bring up the idea of getting wed, and find every excuse to go to the pub/out for a run / visiting granny when there’s a Royal Wedding on TV? These are tell-tale signs that he’s probably not ready to be husband material yet.
However, if he embraces wedding season, has been Best Man and loved it, and has started to get ratty at his friend’s teasing of when he’s going to pop the question, you’re probably in there! Even more so if you wear the trousers, what have you got to lose? Nerves aside, why do men have to have all the excitement and planning of a romantic proposal, choose a ring (or other manly gift) and take control.
Historically men ask your father for your hand in marriage, which is actually extremely dated (and sexist); So why not check in with his mother instead. If she loves you like a daughter, she’s probably just as keen to get you into the brood. If she’s not, this might be the time to have a serious chat with your lover about his expectations. This is the 21st century after all, and women who propose are no longer viewed as aggressive and desperate.
Bear in mind that weddings are (or should be) for life, not just for the party, so if you want to spend the rest of your life with your better half and the feeling is mutual, he will probably be flattered, and be grateful that you have saved him the stress of choosing a ring and planning the perfect proposal!
So, what are you waiting for? And remember us at Love Tipis, please let us know if we inspired you.